Col's Guide to weight loss
1. Don't eat anything bigger than your head.
2. Broken biscuits do not leak calories.
3. A low fat cake is still a cake.
4. Taking lots of small bites does not make it less fattening.
5. Lard is the enemy.
6. If you supersize your meal you will gain weight (the clue is the supersize bit dummy).
7. Comfort eating is only good if you gorge on Celery.
8. Eating five Pringles stacked together does not count as one.
9. Get off the couch once in a while.
10. Mini Mars bars are not less fattening if you eat the whole bag.
Hands!
Why are hands so good anyway.
First of all they are not the best weapon, after all if you gave them to a tiger his new soft claws would not help his hunting. He can't rub his pray to death.
Also you never hear dolphins complaining that they wish they had hands so they could do long division with paper and a Bic biro, Although the ink may not take in the salt water.
Monkey bars would be easier if you had hooks.
Your fingers are never long enough if you drop your keys down a grate.
Why when you've cut your nails do you suddenly realise your nose needs picking.
FACT- Plectrums are stronger than nails.
Trapping your finger in a door hurts.
Thumbs are cool though.
